i cannot just explain to you the ways and fashions in which darth vader rules, you just kind of have to get the gestalt of it in your mind, to really understand. you just have to look at the bigger picture. imagine you turn on the TV to watch NASCAR and there’s a special about how one of the drivers is a nine year old child slave racing in a deathtrap he made by hand to help his friends. imagine knowing that guy, in twenty years, will be a seven foot tall dunkleosteus of suffering who crunches the skulls of children not even for fun, but because he has complex delusions of being a grim reaper escorting the lucky dying to the happy realm of the dead, just so he can get a chance to whine at the gates like a dog so the reaper lets him in today. imagine dale earnhardt jr fell through child labor laws because he was legally property and then he became a megalomaniacal despot later. darth vader is like the phantom from the phantom of the opera had sex with sauron and their child was abducted from a young age, raised in the fast and furious franchise, and then at some point was forcibly turned into doctor doom. imagine if the bible included jesus having an arc where he got really confused and just started killing children before figuring out that might be bad. like “jingoistic deeply religious warrior cultist used to race vehicles illegally, has three masters’ degrees in engineering, also a professional senatorial sidepiece, genocidal warhawk, the figurehead of no less than four cults and the second to worst boss and the first worst father the galaxy has to offer, also he’s seven feet tall” should UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES describe a guy BUT IT DESCRIBES A GUY PRECISELY
FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van
UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist
USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth
Is this…shipping discourse?
Amazon once threw a package at my door and then took a photo while it was midair. Not sure where that fits in this schema but I did want to tell y’all about it.
